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Big Girl Lost ...

Just about the time when I think I’ve figured stuff out, and life is going so well, what do I do? I start a new adventure that throws me into the unknown. It seems I’ve been doing this my entire life, so by now, I laugh at myself as I think, “here we go again.” My incredibly supportive husband has become accustomed to these 90 degree turns and twists and he seems to just go with the flow, while quietly shaking his head. Yet this time, he’s actively involved and quite excited about my new ventures. But, as some of you have noticed, there has been some confusion surrounding what I’ve been tinkering with for the past 18 months. Yup – I’m sometimes a little lost.

It all started with writing and publishing this blog. I had an urge to begin telling my story and seeing where it went. And for those of you reading this blog, thank you for joining the journey. Writing the blog was much less daunting than trying to write a book along these lines! Then, I went off and wrote and published a book What Every Good Lawyer Wants You to Know. Then I started a facebook group Target Your Dream. I was exposed to learning a ton of stuff about starting new businesses and marketing and off I went into study-mode. I met a ton of people who encouraged me to do tons of stuff and off I went in about a dozen directions! Some actions, some ideas. I have about 20 little white binders covering that many topics. I GOT LOST FAST!! And I began asking myself, “what am I about anyway?”

I had a lot of ideas that had me headed in many directions. And I began thinking I had to pursue everything all at the same time. How ridiculous was that? I had to take a lesson out of my own history book. Take one thing, and go for it. That’s what I’ve done my whole life. When I was going for my Level 3 certification as a ski instructor, that’s what I did. When I went to law school, that’s what I did – giving it all my focus and energy. When I wrote the book, I stayed focused on one purpose.


No wonder that confusion and distraction reigned when I tried to split my focus and energy into different projects and directions. For some reason, I knew I was doing it and told myself that I could handle it. WRONG!

I’ve been called obsessive-compulsive most of my adult life and resented the label because I know I don’t have a personality disorder. I prefer to think of myself as “focused.” And when I let go of my laser-like focus, I was thrown into chaos. I did get something out of this chaos though. I learned how many directions are available to me. Many doors have opened. I’ve met a lot of people who are interested in what I’m interested in. I know my ideas have value.

But now, I think it’s time I went back to my laser-like focus, one thing at a time and staying true to who I am and what I believe in. This blog was the start, and it continues to be my anchor. So I’m kinda back at the beginning of the journey that meant a lot to me. So here I go.



Perhaps chaos always precedes order. I’m starting to believe that confusion is a good thing – it’s the pot of soup with tons of ingredients thrown in. Let it brew.

Sometimes you may have to start over, change a few ingredients. Or maybe you have to change the temperature or how you stir. But by sticking to the process long enough, I think something yummy will emerge.

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